Unfortunately Convenient Circumstances
by MischaPallasAthenaKitsune
Summary: Kisame and Hidan have issues with their partners having 'relations' with their significant others in the rooms they share. YAOI. KakuTobi, ItaDei and the main pairing: KisaHida.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own Naruto.

"That looks like it hurts," Kisame said with a sigh, watching Hidan writhe on the ground, a pike pierced through his chest. Hidan squirmed, re-opening wounds, as fresh, brighter blood oozed over the darker, drying crimson already on the ground, splayed around his circle, drawn on the ground for his ritual.

"Ah, Jashin… Ya think?!" Hidan said, groaning out as he grabbed the pike and pulled it from his chest. Hidan sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Fuck." He said, realizing he got blood in his hair.

"Then why do it?" Kisame asked, standing from the chair he was in and holding his hand out for Hidan. Hidan ignored the hand and stood on his own.

"You wouldn't understand." Hidan said simply, and tried to fix his cloak, cursing when he realized he'd torn off one of the buttons. He took it off and threw it to Kisame. "Make someone fix it." He said and started to walk off, exiting through the only door in the room, muttering to himself about needing a shower.

Kisame sighed and held onto the cloak, looking over it. It was a bloody mess and ripped in more than one place. He might as well just get a new one. Kisame just decided to do a favor for the over-religious prick and go to leader-sama and get him a new one.

About an hour later, Kisame entered the room Hidan and Kakuzu shared at the Akatsuki base. Kakuzu was lounging on a bed, reading a news paper, and to his surprise, Tobi was sitting at the end of said bed chatting happily.

"Tobi…" Kakuzu said, upon noticing Kisame's entrance.

"Yes?" Tobi asked excitedly.

"Shut up." Kakuzu said. Tobi whined and then quieted. He waved at Kisame, who, deciding to humor the boy, waved back. "Something you want, Hoshigaki?" Kakuzu asked.

"I was just looking for Hidan. Do you know where he is?" Kisame asked, trying to seem bored.

"What do I look like, his keeper?" Kakuzu asked, seeming a bit pissed as he glanced over his paper at Kisame. He noticed the cloak folded over his arm, which obviously wasn't his own, because Kisame was wearing his own. Kakuzu glanced over to the chair his cloak was on. "He's probably in what you like to call the den, reading his stupid bible or something." Kakuzu said, closing his eyes, and dropping one side of the newspaper to rub his temples with one hand.

Kisame paused for a moment, and looked over the two, sensing a bit of awkwardness rolling through the room.

"Thanks…" Kisame said and turned, about to close the door behind him, when Kakuzu spoke.

"Wait." He said.

"Yeah?" Kisame asked, poking his head back in the door.

"Knock next time." Kakuzu instructed and went back to reading his paper.

"Oh, right…" Kisame said and closed the door softly.

Kisame walked down the long hall way, clenching and unclenching his free hand. He had the urge to grip something, more specifically, Samehada, his sword.

"Come on, un!" Kisame heard, and looked up. He wondered why the hallway was so dark, and let a confused look pass over his features as Deidara walked by swiftly, turning when he was past him. Though Kisame didn't look, he could tell from the sound Deidara's shoes made on the floor. Kisame's eyes widened slightly when Itachi emerged from the darkness and followed Deidara, slowly, as though he was teasing the boy. Kisame turned a bit, and Itachi looked at him out of the corner of his eyes as he walked past. Kisame let his mouth fall open a bit in shock. The corner of Itachi's lips were curled up in a smirk, almost invisible unless you knew the man really well.

Kisame quickly grew jealous of Deidara, as he was always unable to draw that smirk from Itachi, and he knew everything there was to know about the Uchiha.

Kisame walked on down the hall, pushing the thoughts out of his head, not wanting to be angry when he saw Hidan, knowing the other would probably only add to his anger. Kisame let out a small sigh when he got to the den, not finding Hidan, only Sasori, who was sitting in a chair by the book case, a book sitting in his lap. The red heads eyes glanced over the page, not giving Kisame any recognition as he entered the room. Kisame let out another sigh and decided not to ask, because Sasori probably didn't know or care where Hidan was. Kisame headed back down the long, dark hallway and stopped at the door to the room he shared with Itachi. He put his free hand on the knob, but stopped as he was about to turn it. He could hear Deidara giggling from inside. Kisame sighed again and let go of the knob, deciding to go wander until he could return, and go to bed.

"Oh, what the fuck?!" Kisame heard, followed by the slam of a door, and quickly turned his head.

Not twenty feet down the hall, Hidan stood, clad in only a towel around his waist, his back against the door to his room and his necklace against his bare chest. Hidan was blushing slightly, and the ends of his hair were dripping on his shoulders.

"Oh, there he is." Kisame noted to himself, and walked a few feet in Hidans direction. "Something wrong?" Kisame asked as he extended his hand with the new cloak in it. Hidan reached out and grabbed it, putting it on, ripping the towel off and throwing it at Kisame as he buttoned the coat.

"I go in my room to get dressed, and Kakuzu has Tobi bet over the bed, and they're fucking like rabbits! Fucking gross! Don't they know I sleep in there?! Damnit, What the hell?! I'm not fucking sleeping in there tonight!" Hidan said, grabbing the towel he'd just thrown at Kisame, off the taller man, and started to dry his own hair angrily.

"Yeah…" Kisame said, totally understanding how Hidan felt. If he'd opened the door, Kisame shuddered to think what he'd have seen, and felt a flare of anger, which rose up from his stomach and burned at the back of his throat. He sighed and realized he needed a way to calm his anger.

"Hey, what crawled up your ass?" Hidan asked, noticing Kisame's sudden wave of anger. Hidan took the towel from his hair and held onto it, letting it dangle at his side.

"Nothing." Kisame said with a slight sigh. He was bored and there was nothing to do. Samehada was in his room and it was currently occupied.

"Bullshit." Hidan said, turning towards Kisame.

"My sword is in my room." He said simply.

"Uh… Go get it?" Hidan said, looking at Kisame like he was mentally retarded.

"And walk in on Itachi and Deidara? I don't think so." Kisame sighed again and started to walk off. He heard Hidan grunt behind him, and then the others smaller, slightly hurried steps as the religious man caught up with him.

"So we're in the same position, huh?" Hidan asked.

"Seems that way." Kisame said, and looked over at Hidan, remembering how he'd watched Hidans ritual earlier, and he was still wondering why he did. But, Kisame admitted to himself, that was better to watch than to be bored and angry with waiting for Itachi and Deidara to be done doing… whatever in the seven hells they were doing. He was seriously considering asking Leader-sama to re-organize rooms.

"Maybe we should get Leader-sama to reorganize our rooms." Hidan said, looking up at Kisame as he walked at his side. Kisame grinned and Hidan frowned.

"What?" Hidan said, rather angrily.

"My thoughts exactly." Kisame said and chuckled.

"I'm hungry…" Hidan bitched. "Since Kakuzu is occupied, I think I'll go spend some of that assholes money just to piss him off. After all, I had to see that fucking disturbing… shit… in my room…" Hidan said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I think I will be sleeping in the den tonight…" Kisame said.

"Me too. You're better company that that tight-assed money-loving prick…" Hidan couldn't seem to stop spewing random curse words. He threw the towel over the back of a chair in the dining room, which was right next to the living room. Sasori looked up at the other two. "What?" Hidan bit at the other.

"If anyone asks," Kisame said. "Deidara left this here."

"Right." Sasori said and went back to his book.

"Wanna go into town and get some real food besides the instant shit that bitch-ass money whore keeps here?" Hidan asked.

"That sounds…Good." Kisame said simply, shrugging.

They headed into town, without even telling anyone they were going somewhere, because, frankly, neither one of them cared at the moment if anyone ever found them again.

When they chose a restaurant, they got the best of service, no one crossed the Akatsuki on purpose.

"God damn, I'm still pissed about that shit in my room…" Hidan said as he bit off a piece of chicken from a skewer.

"Yeah, I'm not exactly happy with Deidara, either." Kisame said with a sight, picking up a large piece of fish and putting the whole thing in his mouth, chewing politely and swallowing. "I say we get a drink and forget about those assholes." Kisame said and put a piece of fried bread in his mouth.

"That's the spirit!" Hidan cheered. "Fuck the others!"

"Drinking isn't against Jashin?" Kisame asked.

"No! Why the hell would drinking be against Jashin?" Hidan looked semi-offended, which was half as offended as he usually looked.

"I don't know, I'm not a Jashin…ist… So I wouldn't know." Kisame said, holding up his hands in a defensive manner.

"Well, then, later I'm explaining the basics of Jashinism to you." Kisame rolled his eyes at that comment. "Don't fucking roll your eyes, heathen!" Kisame couldn't help but chuckle.

"That's almost cute, Hidan." Kisame said. He laughed out when he noticed the pink tint on Hidans face.

"What?!" Hidan demanded.

"Nothing, nothing." Kisame said.

The two ordered a few drinks, just enough to get a slight buzz going.

"Well, I think we've wasted enough of Kakuzu's money. Let's head back." Kisame said and stretched. "Oh, leave a good tip though. That'll really piss him off." Kisame said with a chuckle.

"Yeah." Hidan giggled a bit, leaving a gracious tip.

The two headed back to the base, finding a very aggravated Kakuzu.

"Where the hell did you go?" Kakuzu demanded.

"Out." Hidan responded. "None of your damn business."

"Out? Why the hell did you go out? What reason do you have to go out?" Kakuzu asked.

"Kisame and I went out for lunch, stop fucking bugging me!" Hidan shouted, balling his hands into fists at his sides. "Its enough that you and Tobi are fucking like rabbits in the room we have to fucking share, and now I can't even go out without you hounding me! Jashin damn you! What I do with my life outside our missions is none of your business! It's not like you care, anyway!" Hidan had said today's secret word. Care. Everyone in the immediate area was staring at him. Of course Kakuzu didn't _care,_ he was an Akatsuki member. That's right! Hidan thought, No one cares!

Kakuzu was ranting about something and Kisame just stood there. Sasori stood and closed his book, angrily glaring at the group as he walked by. Konan had been in the kitchen, contemplating getting a sweet bun, but when the guys started to yell, she decided against it and walked away. She hated being in a house full of men, men with tempers made it worse.

Kakuzu stormed off after a while, leaving only Kisame and Hidan.

"Jashin fucking damn it…" Hidan whispered. His shoulders were quaking.

"Hey…" Kisame said, putting one of his large hands on Hidans shoulder. He squeezed gently. There, something to grip.

"I want to lock myself in a room and stare at the wall for a while." Hidan admitted.

"That's no fun." Kisame said.

"Can you think of anything better to do?" Hidan asked, glaring at the other.

"Uh…" Kisame stared at the angry white haired man for a while.

"You could tell me about Jashinism…I guess." Kisame said, taking his hand back and shrugging.

"Well, that would be more interesting than staring at a wall…" Hidan admitted. He sure was talkative today. "Sit." Hidan instructed, pointing to the couch in the

living room. Kisame yet again shrugged, taking off his cloak and sitting, stretching out. Hidan sat next to him and began explaining his religion to the shark man.

About an hour later, surprisingly, no one had interrupted, Hidan had finished his explanation.

"Wow, really? You can do all that as long as you do it in the name of Jashin?" Kisame asked, leaning forward a bit.

"Yeah, really." Hidan said, grinning.

"What about sex? You never mentioned that." Kisame asked, truly curious.

"Oh. Sex? Uh…" Hidan said. "A Jashinist can have sex, but I didn't think to mention it because…" Hidan trailed off.

"Because what?" Kisame asked, smirking. "You're not a virgin, are you?" Kisame asked.

"Please! I'm, like, ten times your age! So, by theory, I've had ten times as much sex as you!" Hidan said.

"In theory." Kisame said with a chuckle. "Do you even know what a vagina looks like?" Kisame asked.

"Who said I like women?" Hidan asked.

"You can be gay and be a Jashinist too? That is something!" Kisame said, chuckling lightly. "Fine, then. Have you ever seen a penis other than your own?" Hidan was blushing at this point, which only made Kisame chuckle harder.

"I don't think that's any of your business!" Hidan said, looking angry. Kisame leaned in closer to Hidan and smiled, revealing rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth.

"What if I want to make it my business?" Kisame asked.

"Then that would be creepy!" Hidan said, though he let out a small chuckle and pushed Kisame away.

"Ahh…" Kisame breathed, stretching out on his end of the couch. "This is nice, I could fall asleep right here. I've got everything I need, intelligent conversation and

a pillow." Kisame said, taking the pillow from behind his back and putting it behind his head.

"Yeah." Hidan agreed. "Tomorrow we should really talk to leader-sama about the fucking room arrangements…"

"Fucking…" Kisame said with a grunt. "In some cases literally."

"Well, I'm going to forget that now and sleep. Try and get that shit out of my head." Hidan said, stretching out, putting his feet in Kisames lap.  
Kisame chuckled and just let the other lay his feet there, after all, it wasn't bothering him. The two fell asleep, happier than usual.

AN: Yay! I did one all by myself! I'm a big girl now! laughs Well, read and review! Thankies!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I do not own Naruto.

Kisame was the first to wake, as Hidan kicked him

Kisame was the first to wake, as Hidan kicked him.

"Ah, what the hell, Hidan?" Kisame asked, slightly annoyed, pushing Hidans legs off of him. This action woke Hidan.

"What the fuck?" Hidan asked groggily as he sat up and looked at Kisame. Kisame laughed a bit. Hidan looked kind of silly with messy hair.

"You kicked me in your sleep." Kisame said.

"Oh, sorry." Hidan said, shrugging.

"Hidan? Apologizing? This is new to me, un!" Deidara said from the kitchen, sitting in a wooden chair not far away, a piece of jam coated toast hanging from his lips.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan shouted. "I only apologize when I'm actually wrong!" Hidan said in his defense. "Jackass." He added for effect. Deidara only giggled, holding a jam covered knife in one hand, the mouth in the other palm licking the sweet remnants off of it.

"Sure… You never apologize to Kakuzu-san." Deidara said around the toast in his mouth.

"Because Kakuzu is always fucking wrong." Hidan said.

"Is not, un." Deidara said, taking another bite of his toast.

"Is to!" Hidan said, angrily.

"No he's not, un!" Deidara said, grinning like mad.

"Ah, were the hell is my scythe?" Hidan complained, looking around. "Fuck!" He screamed. "It's in that room…" Hidan said, growling a bit.

"Yeah, and Samehada is in Itachi's room." Kisame said.

"What do you mean 'Itachi's room', Kisame, un? Don't you two share a room?" Deidara asked.

"Not since you…" Kisame trailed off, biting his lip a bit.

"Not since I what, un?" Deidara asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Nothing. Is Itachi fully clothed?" Kisame asked. "If he is, I'm going to get Samehada…"

"I dunno, yeah." Deidara said, shrugging.

"Fuck it, I'm going to go get it anyway." Kisame said with a loud sigh, standing and heading down the hallway. Hidan quickly followed him.

"Why would you care if Itachi is fully dressed?" Hidan asked, honestly curious.

"Hmm, maybe because he's attractive?" Kisame said, looking down at the shorter man beside him.

"I thought you liked girls?" Hidan asked.

"I never said that." Kisame said, stopping at the door and taking a deep breath, sighing. Kisame turned the knob and opened the door, closing his eyes, almost scared of what he would see.

"Hmm, Kisame." Itachi said, noticing his partner's entrance to their room.

"Ano, Itachi… I just wanted to get Samehada…" Kisame said, and upon opening his eyes, he saw Itachi sitting on his bed, which was made neatly, painting his nails, fully clothed too.

"Alright." Itachi said, never once looking up from painting his nails. Kisame grabbed his sword and buckled the belt to hold it to his back around his chest. Then he quickly left, shutting the door behind him. He came face to face with a very amused looking Hidan.

"What?" Kisame asked.

"You're acting like a girl." Hidan said with a chuckle.

"Wha--" Kisame asked, looking down at the other, realizing that he may have been blushing.

"Acting all embarrassed and shit around Itachi." Hidan said, laughing.

"Shut up…" Kisame muttered and walked past the other.

"Hey," Hidan said, stopping the other by putting a small, effeminate hand on Kisame's arm. "Help me get my scythe." Hidan said, making it sound as though it was a question.

"Yeah, sure." Kisame said, shrugging. The two walked down the hall to the room Hidan shared with Kakuzu. Kisame lifted his hand and knocked on the door. Some shuffling was heard inside, followed by a loud 'thud' and some cursing and whining. After a minute, there was silence.

"Come in." Kakuzu said. Kisame pushed the door open a little bit, noticing Tobi on the floor, only wearing his mask and a pair of pinstripe boxers, sitting looking slightly hurt. Kakuzu sat in his bed, fully dressed, save for his cowl, so his face and hair could be seen.

"Hidan just wanted his scythe…" Kisame said, looking around the room for it. When he found it, he went over to it and grabbed it by the handle.

"Why have you become Hidans errand boy lately?" Kakuzu asked from his bed, staring up at Kisame.

"What?" Kisame asked, looking back at the other.

"Bringing him a new coat, getting him his scythe… What's next? Licking his balls?" Kakuzu asked and Tobi giggled at that comment. Kisame scoffed.

"Just leave me alone." He said and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

"Here." Kisame said, handing the scythe to the smaller one.

"Thanks." Hidan said, holding it tightly in one hand. "Don't pay attention to what that asshole says, ok?" Hidan said, looking up at Kisame. "I should have gotten my scythe myself, but I didn't want to see what might have been happening in there."

"Do you like Kakuzu?" Kisame asked.

"What? No! Eww! Fuck no!" Hidan said, his eye twitching.

"Ok, then, Tobi?" Kisame asked, chuckling as they walked down the hallway.

"Not even if my immortality depended on it." Hidan said.

"Then why do you care?" Kisame asked, looking down at the other as they made their way through the den/kitchen area and out the back door of their living quarters. "I mean, if you have no feelings for either of them, why should it matter what they do?"

"Because they might be doing something on my bed… And I'm better looking than Kakuzu, anyway. Fuck, I'm better looking than Tobi…" Hidan said, a deep frown embedded in his face.

"Yeah, that I'll agree with." Kisame said with a smirk.

"So why don't they like me? Everyone fucking does whatever in the hell Tobi says. Nobody ever argues with Kakuzu." Hidan said, chakra flaring around him with every word he spoke.

"I don't know what to say, Hidan." Kisame said, sighing. The two walked around the in the forest of thick trees, not really doing anything but walking and talking.

"Why are you so upset about Deidara and Itachi?" Hidan asked. Kisame grunted.

"Fucking Deidara…" Kisame said, trailing off, looking away from Hidan. "He makes Itachi smile." Kisame said, his chakra starting to flare as well.

"So?" Hidan asked, looking up at the other.

"I've never been able to do that… and I know everything about Itachi… I'm always so fucking careful as not to upset him, I'm always so nice to him, I buy him everything he ever expresses interest in… You can tell what he's interested in by the way he tilts his head ever so slightly when he's looking at something he wants." Kisame sighed. "I can still see the way he blinks his eyes when I give him something he wants… Slowly, his lashes are so long… He never fucking smiles…" Kisame said, leaning against a tree, gritting his teeth for a moment before continuing. "It's so subtle, but fucking Deidara… He makes Itachi smile just by walking by! He doesn't give Itachi anything! He doesn't encourage him, he doesn't he's not willing to do anything… Fuck!" Kisame said before taking his sword from it's holster on his back and swinging it with all his might, knocking over three trees, blowing up dust and dirt.

"So?" Hidan sad once more. "If he doesn't even fucking look at you twice for all the shit you give him, quit giving him shit." Hidan said.

"But that would be the smart thing to do…" Kisame muttered.

"So be smart, you're intelligent enough." Hidan said, sitting on a stump Kisame had just made, though it was a bit uneven, Hidan dealt with it. "Sit." Hidan instructed.

"Yeah, sure…" Kisame said and sat down.

"You just want attention right now, right? You've got mine. You can make me smile, laugh, even. I think it's funny as hell when you curse." Hidan said, propping his elbow on his knee and resting his chin in his hand, looking at Kisame. "You're much more polite than that Kakuzu asshole. I enjoy your company a lot." Kisame looked shocked at what Hidan was saying. Kisame opened his mouth to speak, but Hidan interrupted him. "Shut the fuck up, I'm not done talking!" Hidan yelled, making Kisame close his mouth and stare at the other. "Fuck Itachi, seriously. He's an asshole. If he doesn't pay attention, or even fucking thank you for the shit you do for him, then fuck him. Don't act like such a girl. Seriously. Fuck Itachi. He's used to people spoiling him, he was a rich boy when he was growing up, fucking Uchiha, always acting like they're better than everyone else…"

"That's not true, Hidan…" Kisame started, reaching out a bit. "Itachi was the head of the clans son, he…"

"Quit fucking defending him!" Hidan shouted. "He's a prick. He doesn't deserve you." Hidan said and stood. "I'm going to talk to leader-sama about changing the rooming situation." Hidan said, staring down at a sitting Kisame. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, sure." Kisame said and stood, following the shorter one. They headed into the house and through the hallway, down another long corridor, following their path all the way to the end, knocking on a door at the end.

"Come in." Came a voice from inside.

"Leader-sama, we have a request." Hidan said.

"What, Hidan?" Their leader asked, his face shadowed.

"I want our rooms rearranged." Hidan said. "I want to room with Kisame, and Itachi will want to be with Deidara and Kakuzu with Tobi. That leaves Zetsu and Sasori, but I'm sure they won't mind being together." Hidan said.

"I don't care. Why are you wasting my time? Switch if you want." Leader said and waved his hand, dismissing the two.

"That was… Surprisingly easy." Hidan said, blinking a few times, shocked.

"Yes, it was." Kisame said as they walked from the room. "Well, at least I don't have to look at Itachi unless we're on missions anymore."

"Fuck," Hidan said. "Maybe we should try to get partners rearranged, too, huh?" He said and chuckled.

"Ha! It's worth a try!" Kisame laughed to.

"What are you guys so happy about, un?" Deidara asked, watching as Kisame and Hidan walked by, laughing.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Kisame said, holding his belly. "So, what now?" Kisame asked.

"We get our shit and we annex someone else's room and move their shit out." Hidan said.

"Yeah, but who's?" Kisame asked, grinning.

"I vote Tobi's." Hidan said, "That fucker has a room all to himself, and yet he's always in mine dicking around with Kakuzu." Kisame laughed so hard he snorted.

"Ha, dicking…" Kisame said between laughs. "Alright, let's get our shit." Hidan laughed more because Kisame cursed.

They each headed to their own respective rooms and gathered up their shit, Tobi watching Hidan with his head tilted to the side as he did, Kakuzu raising an eyebrow, but not saying a word. Itachi watched Kisame gathering his things for a few moments.

"Kisame, what are you doing?" Itachi asked, looking at Kisame over a scroll he'd been reading.

"Oh, I'm switching rooms so Deidara can stay in here with you." Kisame said, forcing to his lips the most sincere smile.

"I see." Itachi said and went back to reading his scroll. Kisame was fuming inside. Itachi didn't even fucking care about this, not even a thanks. Hidan was right, it would be best to stop doing things for the stuck-up Uchiha. Kisame held one bag over his shoulder, and a few things in his other arm. He went into the hall and found Hidan having trouble pulling a large trunk out of his former room.

"Heh heh, Need some help?" Kisame asked.

"Fuck off!" Hidan said, sounding rather agitated. Kisame only snickered and walked by the shorter man, lightly slapping the others hands away, he sat his stuff on top and picked up the trunk. "Uh, thanks." Hidan said quietly, looking slightly embarrassed.

"No problem." Kisame said. The pair headed to Tobis room, opening the door, and looking around. One bed, a couple large scrolls, a chair, with a cloak slung over it, candy, some smaller scrolls.

"Not much in here. Just grab it and put it in the hall." Hidan said, grabbing the chair and the smaller items on it, moving them into the hall.

"Sure." Kisame said and grabbed the larger scrolls, putting them in the hall as well.

"We'll need to get another bed… Jashin, Tobi had this room all to himself?! Not fair!" Hidan said, pouting.

"This bed is bigger than the other ones…We could trade a couple this bed for the two in their room." Kisame said, sitting on the end of the bed.

"But that would be nice." Hidan started. "We're supposed to just take shit. Because we're pissed. People aren't supposed to be nice when they're pissed." Kisame laughed in response.

"For tonight, ah, I'll take the floor, I guess." Kisame said, still smiling a bit.

"No, you take the damn bed. I'll take the floor." Hidan said, pointing at the bed behind Kisame.

"Hidan…" Kisame started.

"I wont take no for an answer."

"You're a stubborn ass."

"I know."

"I'm hungry…" Kisame said.

"Then let's go get something to eat…Duh." Hidan said and started to leave the room. Kisame followed, chuckling to himself a bit.

When the pair reached the kitchen, they saw Konan standing by the stove, looking as though she was considering cooking something.

"Konan, hey, Konan!" Hidan said, making the other turn and look at him.

"What?" She asked plainly.

"Do you feel like making some of your delicious yakitori for Kisame and me?" He asked.

"Uh, sure… But are you feeling well?" She asked.

"Yeah, why the hell would I not be feeling well?" He asked.

"Usually it's 'make me some damned food, woman!'" She said and smiled. "So why are you being so nice?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I don't think I'm doing anything different." Hidan said and shrugged.

"Ok, sure, whatever. It'll be done in about twenty minutes. Where are you guys going to be?"

"Here," Hidan said, "Waiting."

"Ok," Konan said with a chuckle and sat about cooking. When she was finished, she gave the boys their meal and walked off, surprised that both men thanked her.

Hidan and Kisame ate in silence. When they were finished, they put their dishes in the sink and headed back to their annexed room. Kisame laid on the bed.

"It's a big bed." Kisame said.

"Looks that way." Hidan answered, holding a pillow he was about to lay on.

"Want to lay with me? There's plenty of room."

"No, it's fine." Hidan said. Kisame decided to let that subject lay where it dropped.

"Tobi hasn't complained yet." Kisame pointed out.

"Because Kakuzus cock is massaging his brain." Hidan said with a twitch. Kisame playfully made gagging sounds.

"It's only seven." Kisame said.

"I don't care. I'm sleeping." Hidan said, laying his head on the pillow, falling asleep shortly.

"Hidan?" No answer. "Hidan?" Again no answer. Kisame sighed and laid down, kicking off his shoes, but leaving his cloak on. He felt a little bit bad for making Hidan sleep on the floor, but he soon fell asleep.

AN: I like this story so far. And thanks to everyone who has been reviewing. Please continue to do so!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I don't own Naruto.

"Alright. Where the hell is Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, folding up the newspaper he'd been reading and laying it on the bedside stand. He uncrossed and recrossed his legs, looking at Tobi, who had been sitting beside him, his eye drifting over a scroll.

"Dunno." Tobi said, rolling the scroll back up and tying it. He dropped it to the floor and turned around to face Kakuzu. "But I don't really care…" Tobi said, crawling up the others body. Tobi pulled off his mask and pressed his lips to Kakuzus. "Mmm…" He moaned when Kakuzus tentacles found their way into his mouth. Tobi ran his palms roughly over Kakuzus chest, under the others shirt, feeling the stitches, and toned, hard muscles. Tobi bucked his hips against Kakuzu, trying to excite the other. Kakuzu put his hands up on Tobi's arms.

"I'd love to, Tobi, really, But I'm actually concerned about my partner." Kakuzu said, his voice not sounding as sweet as his words.

Tobi scoffed.

"You don't sound like it." He said, grinning, stealing another kiss, gyrating his hips.

"You're making it hard." Kakuzu said, frowning. Tobi giggled. Kakuzu sighed and pushed Tobi off of him.  
"I'm going to find Hidan."

"But, Kakuzu!" Tobi said, pouting. "I want to fuck!"

Kakuzu turned and looked at Tobi, almost grinning. He stalked over to Tobi and grabbed the other roughly by the front of his shirt.

"I promise, I'll most likely be pissed after I find Hidan, so after we find him, we'll come back here and I will fuck you good and hard into the mattress, ok?" Kakuzu said, his tentacles slipping from his mouth to tease along Tobi's jawline. Tobi shivered. He felt weak in the knees.

"Oh… Ah… Ok…" Tobi said, shamelessly rubbing his erection against Kakuzu's thigh. "Make it fast… I'm so hot for you right now…" Tobi whispered.

"Yeah, will do." Kakuzu said, pushing the other away, Tobi just fell back on the bed and moved his hand down to his crotch, rubbing and letting out a small moan.

"Hurry!" He whined.

Kakuzu chuckled lightly and walked from the room, setting out on a search for Hidan. He walked down the hallway, stopping at Itachi and Kisame's room, but, hearing Deidara giggling from inside, he decided to move on.

"Sasori." He said, upon entering the living room, where, yet again, the puppet master was reading.

"Mm?" Sasori asked, without even looking up.

"Where is Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, seeming strangely calm. This made Sasori look up at him. Sasori stared at Kakuzu for a long moment. He smiled and then looked back down at his book.

"Try Tobi's room."

"Tobi's room? What the fuck?" Kakuzu wondered out loud as he turned on his heel and headed back to the hallway. He stopped at Tobi's room and knocked on the door. He heard mumbled cursing from inside.

"If you want Tobi, he's in fucking Kakuzu's room!" Hidan shouted.

"This is 'fucking' Kakuzu, dumb ass." Kakuzu said, and opened the door.  
Hidan sat up suddenly.

"I didn't say you could come in!" He said, rushing to pull his cloak back on, as he had taken it off in the middle of the hot night.  
Kakuzu looked at Hidan and raised an eyebrow. He looked to the bed, where Kisame lay, fast asleep.

"I'm pretty sure Tobi didn't say you could, either." Kakuzu said, walking in and closing the door behind him. "What the hell is this about, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the door.

"You and Tobi are always fucking in our room, and… and… I'm sick of that chicken shit bull shit!" Hidan shouted, standing up, throwing the pillow on the bed beside Kisame.

"So you go off and shack up with Kisame? He's in the same position with Deidara so you two took Tobi's room out of convenience? I expected something like this from you, but that's low for Kisame." Hidan stared at Kakuzu for a few seconds, looking shocked. He then proceeded to walk slowly up to Kakuzu and grab the others shirt, pulling him down to his level.

"Don't you ever talk shit about Kisame!" Hidan growled, spitting in Kakuzu's face as he spoke. "Do you understand me? You may be immortal, but, by Jashin, if I ever hear you talk shit about Kisame again, I will find a way to kill you, you fucking bastard." Kakuzu only smirked.

"So you two are together, huh? You must be in love, because I'm with Tobi and I don't care that much about him." Kakuzu said, smirking at the other. He completely didn't expect what happened next.

The sound of the slap resonated all the way to the living room where Sasori sat.

"What the fuck?!" Kakuzu screamed as he pulled back, blood dripping down his face where two slashes were, Hidans nails catching him halfway through the slap.

"Get the fuck out of here, Kakuzu." Hidan snarled. "I'm not with Kisame, but he's my first fucking friend.  
Even though I'm sure you don't know what that word even means you heart of cow stomached bastard!"

"Emotions like that only get in the way of the greater goal." Kakuzu said, surprisingly calm, though his chakra was flaring. "Oh, good morning, Kisame." Kakuzu said with a smirk, as Hidan turned quickly, his face tinted pink, as Kisame stared at him from the bed. Kakuzu turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

"Hidan…" Kisame said, sitting up, he too was sans his cloak. Hidan flopped down on the bed beside Kisame.

"Don't say anything. Kakuzu is just a bastard, end of story." Hidan said, frowning deeply.

"Thanks." Kisame offered, smiling at the other. Hidan stared at him for a moment, then burst out in a fit of uncontrollable giggles. "What?" Kisame asked.

"A real smile looks so goofy on you!" Hidan said, still in his fit.

"Thanks." Kisame said sarcastically. He leaned over and poked Hidan's side. Hidan only continued to giggle. Kisame rubbed his fingers over Hidans ribs, and Hidans giggles turned into laughter, then into a complete and utter guffaw as Kisame wouldn't stop the teasing, tickling touch. Hidan gasped for breath, clawing weakly at Kisame's arm.

"Stop!" Hidan gasped. "Fucking stop!" Kisame couldn't resist making the silver haired man suffer. He poked his fingers into the others sides more firmly, making the other scream at the sensation. Hidan pushed Kisame particularly hard and Kisame lost his balance, ending up on top of Hidan, their chests pressed together, their faces only inches apart.

"Ah, Hidan…" Kisame whispered, both of their faces heating with the first signs of a blush.

After a few seconds of staring at each other, Kisame sat back, pulling the blanket around his waist, as if he was trying to hide something.

"Sorry." Kisame whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry for." Hidan said, looking up and over at Kisame as he was still laying in the same position he was when Kisame fell on him, his silver hair splayed out on the bed behind his head.  
Kisame noted the faint pink on Hidans cheeks.

A silence fell over the two, but it was not at all uncomfortable.

After a few minutes of them observing each other out of the corners of their eyes, Kisame reached out and touched a lock of Hidans hair, curling it around his finger.

"What are you doing?" Hidan asked, his voice tender, which made Kisame pull his hand back and look down at the smaller man, semi-scared.

"Ano, it looked soft." Kisame said and shrugged.

"I take good care of my hair." Hidan said, matter-of-factly.

"Hidan…" Kisame said, sighing the others name. Hidan blinked twice and his breath hitched.

"What?" He asked.

"I feel weird…" Kisame said, looking away.

"Me too, I think it's because we're hungry. We haven't eaten much lately." Hidan said and nodded. It looked funny because he was laying down. "Let's go get something to eat." He said as he sat up.

"Alright." Kisame said and chuckled. Kisame stood and located his cloak, throwing it on, deciding to change later.

"I don't feel like bugging Konan again… Let's go get some barbeque." Hidan said, grinning back at  
Kisame as they walked from the hideout, towards the nearest town.

"Sounds good to me…" Kisame responded as he followed.

When they reached the town, Hidan was all smiles. It seemed as though the immortal couldn't contain his joy.

The two ate together, making small talk, both very much enjoying not being bitched at for their manners. Hidan actually laughed when Kisame patted a waitress on the ass as she walked by, though he was more laughing at how embarrassed she was and that she hurried off whispering apologies and making excuses.

After they paid the bill and left, Kisame started to head back towards the hideout, but Hidans hand on his arm stopped him.

"Let's go do something fun. Fuck those guys, seriously." Hidan smiled, honestly smiled, removing his hand from Kisames arm and holding it out as though he expected Hidan to take it.

"If we aren't there when we receive a mission…" Kisame started, sighing, realizing he was sounding like Itachi.

"Fuck that. Come on." Hidan said, grabbing Kisames wrist, pulling the larger man behind him.

Kisame could have easily just stayed rooted in his spot, as he was much stronger than Hidan, but he went with the other, chuckling softly.

"What is there to do, Hidan?" He asked.

"I don't know, we'll find something to do." Hidan said, letting go of Kisames wrist when he realized the other was going to follow him.

Back at the hideout, Kakuzu stormed into his room, pulling a practically nude Tobi into a rough kiss.

"Ah, Kakuzu…" Tobi whined, moaning as tentacles from Kakuzus mouth ran over his throat, wrapping around, squeasing lightly. "Kakuzu…" Tobi moaned again, breathlessly.

"Shut up. I'm pissed as hell. You're going to get the rough fucking you wanted. Get on your knees, now." Kakuzu ordered, his threads retreating into his mouth.

"Yes sir!" Tobi gasped and obliged Kakuzu.  
Hidan and Kisame spent the rest of the day just messing around, playing games and tasting the towns finest foods, just having a good time.

This, however, was not going over well with leader-sama.

"Where the hell is Hidan, Kakuzu?" Their overly decorated leader asked angrily, tapping his foot staring at the other with his arms crossed.

"I don't know, leader-sama." Kakuzu said, looking slightly irritated.

"Well…" Pein looked like he was considering what Kakuzu had said for a second before glaring at the other. "Find him!"

"Yes sir…" Kakuzu muttered, shrinking back a bit.

"Dismissed." Pein said, ordering the other from the room.

Kakuzu stormed out angrily, looking for his damned partner.

Kisame was currently chasing Hidan through the woods, grinning as Hidan was fun to chase, not someone who was easy to catch, like most of the people who'd opposed him lately. Hidan was fast and surprisingly strong for someone with such a slender build as his.

Kisame tried to surprise Hidan by appearing in front of him, but Hidan grabbed onto Kisame's cloak and hoisted himself up, flipping over Kisame, chuckling as he continued to run away.  
Kisame used Samehada and cut down a tree when he was right behind Hidan. Hidan tripped over the tree and was sent falling towards the ground. Kisame grabbed him by the back of his cloak and slammed him back against the nearest tree. Hidan let out a tiny moan when his back hit the tree with so much force.

"That was a dirty trick, Kisame…" Hidan whispered with a smirk as Kisame pressed his body against the others, holding the smaller man in place.

"But it worked…" Kisame said with a snicker.

"Yeah…" Hidan had to admit, blushing slightly as Kisame played with a lock of his hair. "Kisame…" Hidan whispered as the other closed the distance between their faces. Hidan's eyes fluttered shut, and Kisame moved one of his hands from Hidans shoulder to rest against the tree behind Hidan.  
Their lips were about to touch when they heard someone behind them.

"Ewwww!" The person said. "Kisame and Hidan, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then  
comes marriage, then comes--"

"Leader-sama, to kick your truent asses." Kakuzu interrupted. "You said you weren't in love, you liar."

"What the fuck?!" Hidan shrieked, thrashing against Kisame's grip.

"Hidan…" Kisame said, warningly.

"No! Let me go! I'm going to fucking kill him!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Bastard!" Hidan shouted.

"Prick." Kakuzu responded.

Hidan squirmed out of Kisame's arms and ran over to Kakuzu, attempting to jump on the other, but Tobi grabbed him.

"Hehehe, behave, Hidan." Tobi said, holding the other up by the back of his cloak.

"Leader-sama wanted to know where the fuck you were, so we had to come and look for you, you bastard." Kakuzu said with a sigh.

"Why do you care?"

"He has a mission for us, I guess."

"Do it with Tobi!"

"No." Tobi said and then giggled. "I like to work alone or with Deidara-sempai."

Kisame sighed and picked up his sword off the ground, and headed back towards the hideout.

"Let's go, Hidan." He said with a soft sigh.

"Yeah, these assholes aren't worth fighting." Hidan responded as Tobi let him down.  
Hidan started to walk off after Kisame, but Kakuzu grabbed his arm roughly.

"If you fall in love with him, you are useless to me, understand? I wont bother to save your sorry ass if you get in trouble on our mission."

"Che!" Hidan said, pulling his arm free of Kakuzu's grasp. "I already thought that's how you felt. Leave me the fuck alone." He said, and headed off after Kisame.

"That sucks." Tobi said.

"Shut up, Tobi."

AN: Sorry I haven't updated this in so long, guys, but I just haven't felt like doing anything lately... I still feel kind of 'bleh'... But I think this chapter is decent. Enjoy. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I seem to be having a bit of trouble with the document things... But anyway! I don't own Naruto!

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so fucking much." Hidan said as he whined, gripping his scythe with a deathly powerful grip.

"Shut up, you love struck woman." Kakuzu said with a sigh, walking down the poorly paved street.

"I am not a woman!" Hidan said, puffing out his chest, trying to look intimidating. He failed miserably.

"You liar. You would have let Kisame have his way with you right then and there if Tobi and I hadn't walked up." Kakuzu let a small hint of a snicker leak into his voice. Hidans face was tinting pink.

"You're the fucking liar now!" Hidan said, smoothing his hair back and fanning his face lightly to try and make his blush go away. "If I were with Kisame, I would be the man in our relationship." Hidan said with a small nod.

Kakuzu burst out laughing.

"You—Fucking… Shit! That's funny!" Kakuzu said as he tried to get his laughter under control. "Oh, shit, that's funny! Shit, we need to write this down. We'll celebrate this day every year as the day you made me laugh!"

"You're a fucking asshole, dick." Hidan said, his blush returning ten fold. "I'll kill you…" He whispered his threat.

"Just try." Kakuzu said, stopping dead in his tracks and turned to Hidan. He reached out and put his hand on the back of Hidans neck, pulling him closer. "Just you fucking try…" He said, bringing his face close to Hidans.

Hidan stared with wide eyes and a bright red face. Kakuzu played with the hairs at the back of Hidans neck Kakuzu pulled down his mask and breathed his next phrase in Hidans ear.

"What are you waiting for?"

Hidan squealed in an undignified manner and shoved Kakuzu away. Since Kakuzu's arm at the back of the neck was the only thing holding Hidan up, he fell. He fell to the ground and sat there staring up at Kakuzu.

"What the fuck?!" Hidan shrieked as he watched Kakuzu smirk down at him before replacing the mask.

"Manwhore." Kakuzu muttered before continuing on his path.

"Hey! You shut the fuck up!" Hidan ranted while he followed.

Kisame sighed. He was alone. All alone.

He laid on the bed in the new room he shared with Hidan. He was sans his cloak, only wearing his purple pants and purple cotton and mesh top. He looked at his nails, wondering it he should paint them. He decided against it. He sighed once more.

"You're pouting, un." Came a voice from the doorway.

Kisame turned his head to see Deidara in only his pants and shoes. His hair was down and flowed over his shoulders.

"What?" Kisame asked, sitting up quickly.

"You were pouting. Thinking about someone special, un?" Deidara said, smirking like mad as he leaned against the doorframe.

"No." Kisame said blandly and leaned back against the headboard. He stared at the ceiling, cursing as his chakra flared within him.

"Bull shit!" Deidara chirped happily and bounded into the room, flopping down on the end of the bed.  
"It's Hidan isn't it, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"It's nothing. I'd like to be alone right now." Kisame said with a sigh, not looking away from the ceiling.

"Oh come on, un!" Deidara said, bouncing a bit. "You can tell me…" He whispered, cocking his shoulder, trying to look sexy. "I wont tell anyone. Is it…" There was a short pause that made Kisame look at Deidara. "Love?" He asked, batting his eyelashes.

"Get the fuck out, Deidara." Kisame ordered, bearing his teeth to the other.

Deidara's visible eye widened and he got up from the bed instantly and ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Kisame sighed again and beat his head back against the wall a few times.

"I don't want to be here…" Hidan whined as he tossed aside another corpse of a shinobi that had chosen to oppose them.

"I know." Kakuzu said, smirking behind his mask. "You'd rather be back at the hideout, on your back, screaming out Kisame's name as he fucks you mercilessly."

"And you'd rather have Tobi slobbering all over your cock, you… cock!" Hidan blushed furiously.

"So you admit it." Kakuzu said, chuckling.

"I didn't admit shit!" Hidan said, taking out another ninja. "Let's just get this fucking mission overwith." Hidan mumbled, mulling Kakuzu's words over in his head with a slight blush.

Kisame left the hideout, grunting and growling at anyone or anything that came across his path. He headed out to the closest town to buy a couple of things.

When he was done shopping, he headed back to the hideout, ignoring Deidara's taunting stare as he brushed past the other and went back to his new room.

Once in the room, he emptied his shopping bags contents and hid a few things under the bed. He took out a pad of paper, a few paintbrushes, an easel and a few tubes of water colours.

He headed from the base once more, but this time, he didn't go far.

He found a quiet spot in the shade of a small patch of trees and sat down with his back against one.  
He rested the pad on his knees and laid out his colours.

He went to dab his paintbrush in the black paint, but cursed as he found himself unable to.

"Come on…" He whispered to himself, placing the tip of the brush in the black paint. "Mixing colours isn't that hard…." He mixed a dab of black with white until he had a nice light shade of gray worked out. He grunted to himself out of amusement and then mixed other colours to make the colour of the tree bark he was staring at before he'd started.

About an hour later, and several failed attempts at painting, he decided he was almost done painting what he'd wanted to. He started mixing colours for the final touches, but a familiar chakra graced his company and he looked up.

"Konan?" He asked as the young woman walked up.

"Hello, Kisame." She said as she sat near him, about three or four feet away, close enough to be personal, but not close enough to invade his privacy. She sat a plate of rice balls down just within his reach. Kisame tilted his head a bid and gave her an inquisitive look. "I thought you'd be hungry." She said.

"Oh, thanks." Kisame said with a smile as he reached out and took one of the rice balls.

"Are you alright?" She asked, not looking directly at him.

"Of course, why do you ask?" There was a hint of something in Kisame's voice that made her look at him. He wasn't looking at her either.

"You're upset." She said. "Do you want to talk about it?" She offered warmly.

"Nah, I don't want to burden you. Seeing as you're the only one who cares about anyone but themselves." Kisame said between bites of the rice ball.

"If I didn't, Pein wouldn't keep me around." She said, sighing a bit.

"Wha?" Kisame asked, looking at her.

"What good is a woman with shitty jutsu's if not for her ability to care for man, no matter how evil man may be?" She asked with a slight smile.

"Hey, your jutsus are good." Kisame said.

"Yours are better." She said, laughing a bit.

"Well… That's no fair to compare us." He said. "Water makes paper all soggy, and I use water-based jutsu."

"True." Konan wrapped her arms around her legs. "But what has been bothering you, Kisame?" She asked once more, looking at him, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Ano…" Kisame said, finishing his second rice ball. 'Just tell her, it wont hurt…' he reasoned with himself. 'Unless Pein is listening, but why would he care?' Kisame furrowed his brow and looked at her for a few seconds. "I…" He started, but didn't know what to say. "I used to like Itachi."

"Everyone does at first. He's very pretty." She said, chuckling a bit.

"Yeah… I've just done so much for him, laid my life on the line several times… and he goes off and gets with Deidara…" Kisame said with a sigh.

"I guess he wanted to get with a guy that looks like a girl. I never imagined Itachi that type though. I always thought he'd go for the big strong guys like you or Kakuzu." She said, looking deep in thought.

"Yeah, I guess not. Maybe he's completely straight and is just with Deidara because he's the girliest one of us aside from you… But I assume P-… Leader-sama would try to kill him if he laid a hand on you."

"Only if he tried to hurt me." She said and smiled. "I'm not with Pein."

"You… aren't?" Kisame asked, sounding very confused.

"No, I'm not."

"Huh… Well, I guess Itachi just likes pretty men then." Kisame said with a shrug. He was chewing on the inside of his lip.

"Don't you like Hidan?" Konan asked, completely innocently. Kisame's breath hitched.

"Uh…" Kisame said, searching for an answer in his head. "I guess so."

Konan was about to say something, but when she saw that Kisame was about to speak again, she closed her mouth and waited patiently.

"I mean, he's nice. To me anyway." Kisame said, sighing a bit and then chuckling. "He's good looking… Decently strong… Immortal, so I don't have to worry about him dying on me." Kisame looked up through the trees at the small patches of light that filtered through the branches.

"I think Hidan likes you to. He is relatively intelligent. Talk to him about it. He's gotten along with you the best so far out of everyone, so even if he doesn't like you like that, it wouldn't hurt your guys friendship." Konan said, playing with her toes. Kisame noticed and smiled. She looked like a child, sitting there in a floral kimono, playing with her toes nervously.

"Ya think so? Thanks, Konan."

"No problem." She said, taking the now empty plate. "If you ever need to talk to someone, just come find me, ok?" She asked and smiled.

"Yeah." Kisame said and his smile widened.

She walked away and he leaned his head back against the tree and sighed contentedly. He watched the sun fade, and eventually fell asleep.

"This blows nuts!" Hidan whispered harshly.

"We have to wait." Kakuzu said.

"Why can't we just go in there and kill them all?!" Hidan asked.

"Because it doesn't fucking work that way!" Kakuzu answered harshly.

Hidan scoffed and sat, waiting for Kakuzu to give him instructions.

Kisame woke to a gentle press on his shoulder. He looked up to see Konan.

"Please come in." She said. "Hidan wont be back tonight. He's on a mission. He should be back late tomorrow night if all goes well."

"Ok, thanks for coming out and getting me."

"It's no problem, everyone else is ignoring me too. After I make dinner or treat an injury, no one cares about me anymore." She said with a sigh and looked away.

"Well they're all assholes." Kisame said matter-of-factly.

"Ah, Hoshigaki, you have some kind of manners." She said with a smile. They chatted the rest of the short walk back to the building.

Kisame bid adieu to Konan and headed to his room.

After putting his paints and things up, Kisame decided to take a shower. He grabbed a towel from his personal things and headed to the shower room.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the WC!" He called out as he twisted the handle to the door and made his way into the room.

This buildings bathroom was made much like a locker room. A few shower stalls with shower heads and drains in the floor, and two stalls with toilets in them. One was painted blue, Konan only, and the other black, for the rest of the main nine. When Kisame walked past the stalls to the showers, he dropped his towel.

Kisame stared in horror as he watched Itachi press Deidara back against the wall, water running over both of their feminine bodies.

He's… He's putting effort into it?' Kisame asked himself, not believing it. He didn't want to believe it.

"No…" Kisame breathed and leant down to pick up his towel.

"We have company, un." Deidara said, wrapping his arms around Itachi as the other turned to look at Kisame.

"Hmm, Kisame…" Itachi said, looking boredly at the other.

"I…" There was a short pause. "I was just leaving!" Kisame said and bolted from the room.

"I've never seen him run so fast…" Itachi said with a smirk.

"Un, pay attention to me…" Deidara whined, kissing Itachi's neck.

"Yeah, yeah." Itachi said and turned back to Deidara.

Kisame ran all the way back to his new room, scaring the shit out of Tobi as he knocked the other over.

"Kami-sama! What the fuck was that?!" Tobi said out of pure shock, making Zetsu and Sasori stare at him like he'd just said Sakura was hot.

Kisame slammed his door shut and locked it. He made a few hand signs and sealed the door. He cursed himself when he was finished, wishing he'd known more seals.

He jumped on the bed and just laid there on his stomach, burying his face in the mattress as he cursed himself.

Kisame held his breath as he pressed his face deeper into the fabric.

'Why did I have to see that? Why , dear god, why?' He felt the familiar sting of tears brining at his eyes and wished Hidan were there, so he'd have a reason to control his emotions, but alas, he was alone.

Kisame shifted his hips and gasped. He jerked his hips again, rubbing his clothed erection against the bed.

"Damnit…" He whispered and rolled over, sneaking one hand onto his pants. He wrapped his hand around his engorged length and stroked, Roughly, closing his eyes and letting out a soft moan. "This isn't fair…" He whispered, images of Itachi and Deidara dancing in his mind. All of the sudden an image of Hidan forced itself to the foreground. It was Hidan, on his back, on the ground in the middle of his circle, the pike through his chest, blood pouring out of the wound and a small trickle from his mouth.  
Hidan was naked and using his own hand to pleasure himself. "Oh, fuck… Hidan…" Kisame whispered, his vision exploding into white as he came, jerking his hips violently.

Kisame just laid there for a few minutes, cursing and hating himself.

A while later, he stood and cleaned himself up.

He sighed and got his paints out again. He painted for hours, filling page after page with beautiful scenes, some gory, some magical, some just plain strange. Almost every single one was crumpled up and tossed aside before the paint could dry.

With a grunt, Kisame stood and headed to the kitchen, sneaking some liquor from the cabinet and taking it back to his room.

He flopped down on the bed and popped the cap off the booze, taking a long swig.

Soon, he'd downed the majority of the bottle and he started to doze off. It fell out of his hand and clattered to the floor as he fell into a deep, deep sleep.

The next day Konan knocked on the door when she'd noticed Kisame wasn't up by four.

"Kisame?" She asked lightly. "Kisame?" A little louder this time.

She pushed the door open and sighed at what she saw.

Kisame was laying half on the bed, half off, his arm slung over the side and a nearly empty bottle of liquor on the floor beside him.

She walked over and sat the bottle upright, then using all her strength, lifted Kisame so his entire body was on the bed. She found a blanket and tossed it over him.

"You need to take better care of yourself…" She whispered before slipping out the door, closing it softly behind her.

Kisame still hadn't woken up by the time Hidan retuned.

"Fucking finally!" He said, walking in.

"Hidan." Konan addressed him. Hidan was about to curse out the person who was bothering him, but he decided not to when he realized it was Konan.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Kisame has been acting strange since you left." She said, sighing softly.

"What? Is something wrong with him?" He asked, leaning his scythe against the wall in the hallway they were standing in.

"I'm not sure." She said, nervously playing with the sleeve of her kimono. She was nervous, she didn't usually do that. "I think he's in love." She whispered.

Hidan was about to say something, but he stopped and gaped. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before screaming one word; "Fuck!"

Konan jumped out of shock, staring at the suddenly enraged Hidan. She looked so confused.

"I'm going to kill Itachi…" He said, pushing his way past her, heading for Itachi's room.

An: I'm having a lot of fun with this one! Hope you guys enjoy! Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I don't own Naruto.

"Itachi you son-of-a-bitch! Open this fucking door, right now!" He bellowed, banging on Itachi and Deidaras door.

"Go the hell away, un! We're busy!" Deidara called from the other side of the door.

"Fuck you, you bimbo! You're a fucking piece of trash too!" Hidan said, breaking the door right off of it's hinges.

"Un!" Deidara stood up, off the bed, ready to advance on Hidan.

"Deidara, sit." Itachi instructed, sitting up himself. "What is this about?" He asked the fuming immortal infront of him.

"You!" He spat. "You are the most worthless piece of trash in this Jashin forsaken world! You stupid fucking moron!" He advanced towards Itachi, clenching and unclenching his fists. Itachi seemed to be looking past him. He turned his attention back to Hidan and cocked his head ever so slightly as if to ask "Why?"

Hidan took in a deep breath. "You act like a stupid woman, like this idiot here!" He screamed, pointing to Deidara.

"Hey!" Deidara shouted.

"Shut up! I'll get to you in a minute, you whore!" Hidan barked, raising his hand to his chest. "You treat Kisame like so much shit when all he ever does is take care of you! Then you go and break his damn heart by shacking up with this asshole? You are worthless! The only thing of value you have any more is that damn sharingan!" He raised his hand and brought it down to smack Itachi, but his hand never connected. Instead, he found is wrist wrapped in strong, pale blue fingers. Another hand found it's way around his torso.

"Thats enough, Hidan." Kisame said softly. Itachi smirked.

"Kisame..." Hidan barely breathed. Kisames hand was trembling. Itachi noticed this. Never once in his years with Kisame had he ever seen the other mans hand tremble.

"Please, just, don't. Hidan. Not for me." Kisame said. Hidan pulled out of the others grip and whipped around.

"What do you mean not for you? It's about Jashin damned time someone did something for you because you're sure as hell not going to do anything for yourself!" Hidan said, and pushed past Kisame. "Itachi can go to hell for all I care!" He shouted as he stormed down the hall.

"What the hell was that about, un?" Deidara asked, looking at Kisame as if he knew. Kisame said nothing, instead he just took off down the hall after Hidan.

"Hidan, wait." Kisame said, grabbing Hidans arm. The other pulled out of his grip and kept walking. "Hidan, stop." The same action again with the same result. "Please." Hidan stopped dead in his tracks and whipped around, glaring daggers at Kisame.

"What?" He choked out.

Kisame opened his mouth to speak but was shocked speachless as Hidans eyes were watery.

"H-Hidan, were you crying?" He asked softly.

"Why the hell would I be crying?" Hidan asked, wiping at his cheeks to make sure there were no tears. Kisame pulled him into a hug and just held him there.

"Thank you." Kisame said, just barely a whisper. Hidan wasn't sure if he'd heard right.

"What?" Hidan asked, pulling back, looking up at the bigger man.

"I said, thank you." Kisame said, taking Hidans arm, leading him to the nearest room that they could talk in private -- the bathroom. "You did something for me that I never would have done myself."

"I just... Spoke my mind, that's all." Hidan said as Kisame closed the door. The blue man leaned back against it. Hidan looked over at Kisame, admiring the other, who just stood there with his legs crossed and his hands in his pockets.

"So, does that mean, uh..." Kisame searched for the words but failed to find them. Hidan took his eyes away from Kisame and looked in the mirror, hating the look of the puffy redness around his eyes.

"Yes," Hidan said softly. "Yes, ok?!" He sounded mad. "Fuck!" He screamed. "I fucking hate myself. But, I hate everyone else more." He turned to Kisame and found the other closer than he expected.

"You shouldn't," Kisame said, chuckling a bit.

"Why not?" Hidan demanded to know, putting one hand on his hip.

"Because I like you." Kisame said, leaning down, lifting Hidans chin with his forfinger and thumb. Time stood still for Hidan. He watched, his heart thumping loud in his chest. When Kisames lips were about to press against his, he shoved the other away.

"Don't." Hidan said, looking away, frowning.

"Hidan?" Kisame asked. He sounded confused and hurt. Hidan couldn't take hearing that in the others voice.

"Not right now. It's bad timing. I'm sorry." Hidan leaned against Kisame, resting his head on the others purple clad chest. Hidan growled a bit. He wanted it. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to rape the bigger man. He wanted Kisame to bite him, to tear him up. But he just couldn't say that right now. Not after that shit with Itachi. Itachi had fucking smirked at him! The bastard knew Kisame would stop him! "Why did you stop me from hitting Itachi?"

"Hidan, I... Well,"

"Before you say anything, don't you dare say anything about not wanting him to hurt me. I'm a fucking immortal."

"All the more brutal he can get with Amaterasu," Kisame said.

"Why would he waste it on me?"

"Good point. I don't know, Hidan."

"Do you still love him?" Hidan asked, clutching at Kisames shirt.

"No, I can't now. I hate him." Kisame said, looking down at the silver haired man.

"Then why did you stop me?" Hidan whined.

"I don't know, Hidan. We don't need fighting amoungst our group here." Kisame wrapped his arms around Hidan. "Just let it go."

"Yeah, whatever," Hidan said, pressing his face into Kisame's chest.

"I need to pee, un!" Deidara shouted from the other side of the door, knocking rather loud.

"I'm going to kill him!" Hidan shouted. Deidara screamed and ran away. Hidan pulled Kisame out of the way, grabbing his wrist. Instead of giving chase to Deidara, Hidan pulled Kisame into their shared room. He shut the door and shoved Kisame back against it. Hidan growled possessively as he put his hands under Kisames shirt, running his hands over the others stomach, up to his chest.

"Oh, fuck…" Kisame said, his knees shaking a bit.

"That's my line." Hidan said, suddenly pulling away. Hidan shucked his coat and laid back on the bed, running his hands through his hair. He pulled his shirt off and started running his fingers over his chest. "Jashin forgive me…" He whispered before looking down at Kisame, trying to look as inviting as possible.

Kisame approached slowly. He shed his own shirt and crawled between Hidans spread legs. Hidan moaned, feeling the massive bulge pressing against his ass.

"Kisame… Don't stretch me, none of that lovey-dovey shit. I want it as rough and hard as possible."

"I can do rough," Kisame said, grinning. He ripped off Hidans pants and pulled his own down. He found Hidans hole with his fingertip and teased it with his nail. "You want me?" He asked.

"Yes, for the love of Jashin, yes!" Hidan squealed.

Kisame bent the others legs up, pushing himself into the tight hole, groaning at how tight the other was. Hidan screamed, panting when Kisame was fully sheathed inside of him. Hidan screamed again when Kisame pulled out and thrust back in. Hidan couldn't control his mouth as he muttered random curses and praises, groaning and keening his need.

"You're bleeding," Kisame noted as he pulled halfway out, noting the blood on his dick.

"Don't care!" Hidan shouted. "Harder!"

Kisame obliged, pounding the tight little ass for all he was worth. Kisame watched with rapt fascination as Hidan touched himself, still moaning like a whore. Kisame gasped, letting a small moan of his own pass his lips when Hidans passage started to clench around him.

"Hidan!" Kisame whispered.

"I'm going to cum! Fuck me, Kisame! Fuck me hard! Shove that big dick in my ass! Ah!" Kisame moaned at Hidans dirty words, shifting a bit, ramming his cock deeper.

Hidan came with a cry, spilling his seed all over himself.

This was too much for Kisame. The image of Hidan in amazing bliss, with the Jashinists tight ass clenching tightly around his dick, he exploded, cumming hard, deep inside Hidan.

After a moment of basking in the wonderful feeling, Kisame pulled out of Hidan, flopping over beside him.

"Fuck…" Kisame half moaned.

"I agree," Hidan said, chuckling a bit.

"Lovey-dovey shit ok now?" Kisame asked, turning towards Hidan.

"I guess," Hidan said, smiling softly.

Kisame wrapped his arm around Hidan and pulled him back into him. The two fell asleep like that, Hidan continued to smile, even in his sleep.

AN: Hello everyone! I am back after a long absence! I left for a while because I got into a car accident, broke my thumb and couldn't walk right for a while, so I didn't feel like doing shit. But now, I'm almost back to normal, save for this big honkin' thing on my thumb. But yeah! MPAK is back! One more chapter for this story to tie everything together, then it's done. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, btw. I had intended for this one to be much longer, but these things happen sometimes. Ja ne! Love y'all!!


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